Good bye RSV, Hello Rejection: Steady My Heart

This month and a half has been a bit tough. The after effects of the RSV have included pneumonia, lung infection and concerns of rejection and my PTLD returning. Physically and emotionally, this month has been very hard and exhausting.

My doctors have been most recently concerned with some spots that have managed to pop back up in my lungs. I had xrays, cat scans, pet scans, bronchoscopies and blood work this past month, all of which came back inconclusive as to if the spots were infection or cancerous. My doctors then ordered a second bronchoscopy to biopsy my lung lymph nodes and suspicious spots to get some more clear cut answers. I was very relived to find out, my PTLD was not the culprit, and that I did not need to be concerned about malignancies in my lungs. I was informed, that for the first time in my donated lungs almost 4 year life span, I have grade 2 acute and chronic rejection.

My doctors have been concerned all along with this RSV infection, since it put me at a much higher risk for developing rejection. I am thankful I am at a transplant center that is aggressive with it's care and was able to diagnose it early on.

Because of the rejection and infection. I am being treated with a strong IV antibiotic for the infection and another very powerful IV steroid and added immunosuppressive drugs for the rejection. It's going to be an interesting balance of reversing the rejection and controlling the infection. Added immunosuppressive drugs will increase the risk of cancer, which for me and my history, makes the balancing act a little more complicated. But I know at I am in great hands at Duke. And I can be assured that I am in the palm of my God's hands, which give me the peace I need to get through this obstacle.

These next several days and weeks will be tough on my body physically and emotionally. But I need to remember, despite these hardships, there is a reason, a purpose to it all. I also need to constantly remember about how much support we have received during all of this. My family, friends, and complete strangers have reached out to our family. Praying for us, sending us encouraging notes, making meals, watching our children and just loving on us. For that, I am so grateful for and undeserving of. Thank you.

Even it hurts
Even when it's hard
Even when it all just falls apart
I will run to You
Cause I know that You are
Lover of my soul
Healer of my scars.