Thankful

There are so many blessings in my life right now.

I randomly found this picture this week. It brings back memories from 3 years ago. It was taken on Valentines' week.

Looking back, I am so thankful:

*I can hold, touch, kiss and speak with my daughter as often as I please. During this week I was able to see Lovebug for the first time. But I was not able to touch her right away. This was very difficult for me. I could not speak to her since I was trached and using the portable ventilator for visits.

*I can eat! I love to eat now, and I partly blame it on the 6 months, I had nothing but enteral tube feedings. Every now and then I had a special treat of applesauce and thickened juice. Eating used to be a battle for my first 25 years of life, now I can't keep food away.

*I can speak & laugh. Like I mentioned before, with a tracheostomy/vent I was not able to speak for quite some time. I missed being able to talk and to just plain laugh out loud. When I did laugh, my machine would beep non-stop.

*I can move. I love being able to go places now. Perhaps, this is also because I was strapped to my bed 24/7 for 5 months. I try to get out of the house with Gwyneth and explore the world each and every day. I feel privileged to do so.

*I can smell. During this time I could not smell. This may have been a blessing, since the hospital environment, especially the ICU is not filled with the most pleasing aromas. Even though my sense of smell is not at its best. I love inhaling my favorite scents: baby bath time, springtime, and foods.

*I can snuggle with my husband every night by his side. When I was hospitalized as a CF patient, Nathan and I would snuggle next to each other at night in the very small single hospital bed. With a ventilator, this makes it impossible, the times he did snuggle, my vent would pop off, and I would stop breathing. This made for a traumatic experience. I am very thankful for each night we spend together snuggling.

*I have new lungs from a donor who made the unselfish decision to donate life. I was waiting and praying every day for the possible donor and his/her family during this time. I hoped every day for a second chance at life. I am so thankful for this person and their decision.

*I can hang out with those I love the most: my family and friends. At the hospital, I felt like I was surrounded by a lot of love. My nurses, doctors, physical, speech therapist ect. all became my new friends. But I missed my church family, close friends and family back home. February marked the sixth month of being away from home. As the saying goes, "there is no place like home."


It was through this experience that I have learned to appreciate and cherish the moments I have. Moments of living, breathing, smelling, tasting and touching that which I love. It is good to be reminded, through pictures like these of where I have been and where I am now. To never forget and always be grateful. For each and every day with the ones we love!

A picture of my tiny little ladybug, three years ago this week.